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Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Black Bag Terrorizes Beautiful Black Giant Chicken Chaka

Well, you might say that I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, in the southeast U.S.A., along with my trusted camera. It happened on a nice cool day in late August 2009. As I was photoing my new line of lunch bags in the FRONT yard, all hell broke loose in the BACK yard.

My six teenagers (chickens) emitted the familar loud warning sound that I hear when a suspect (dog, cat or whatever they feel unsafe around) enters their territory. Upon hearing the panicky distressed sounds, I immediately picked up a stick (I keep several in strategic places for times like this so to always be prepared to fight off the enemy, a dog or cat) and ran to the back yelling, without seeing a single thing, "get away, get away". -For I just knew that the biggest dog in town had encringed upon the territory of my precious little angels . (They do have a secure area, but when they come out to graze, I constantly monitor them.)

Well, when I finally reached the back yard (it seemed to have taken half an eternity) all that I could make of the scene was that my lovely Black Giant teenager, Chaka, as in Chaka Khan, had somehow gotten one of her legs caught in a black plastic bag, and was fluttering about, and running in every direction, with the entire team of six squaking to the top of their gizzards, and more frightened than a chicken should ever have to experience. How the bag got into the yard, I will leave for Kojak to figure out.

Now, of course, she would not stand still and allow me to remove the bag; but I did manage to capture several photos of the event. Any attempts to approach her, and she would take off again with "her" bag trailing. Upon realizing that I would not be able to rescue her, I returned to my photo session. About 5 minutes later, I returned to the back to attempt another rescue of her from the bag, and was pleased to find her just fine and grazing with her flock again. I will never know for sure exactly how she managed to remove the bag. A day or two later, I did find the bag in the lower yard, mostly shredded and caught on a small stump. My guess is that the bag somehow, during her running session, became caught on the stump and WALA, Chaka became free.


















Wednesday, October 29, 2008

+++JOKE OF THE DAY +++

++++JOKE OF THE DAY+++

HAVE A LAUGH ON US

+++++++++JOKE OF THE DAY++++++++++

Harry, age 94, and Liz, age 92, were all excited about their marriage and honeymoon. They went for a walk, and discussed the upcoming wedding as they passed a drugstore. Harry and Liz went inside. Harry conversed with one of the store clerks. Are you the manager? The clerk answered yes.

Harry said: We're getting married. Do you sell heart medication?

Clerk: Yes we do.

Harry: How about medicine for circulation?

Clerk: Yes, of course, all kinds.

Harry: Arthritis, rheumatism, etc? Clerk: Why, sure.

Harry: What about Viagra? Clerk: Definitely. We have medication for alzheimers, arthritis, memory loss etc. We have all sorts and types. Harry: Do you have vitamins, sleeping pills, geritol, and treatment for parkinson's disease? Clerk: For sure. Harry: How about wheelchairs, walkers, and adult diapers? Clerk: Yes, we have those, and diapers in all sizes and thicknesses. Harry turned and conversed with Liz, and then said to the clerk: We will register here for our wedding gifts, for sure.

++++++++++++++

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

++++++++++++

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed.

Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"

Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."


+++++++

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