HAVE A LAUGH ON US
+++++++++JOKE OF THE DAY++++++++++
Harry, age 94, and Liz, age 92, were all excited about their marriage and honeymoon. They went for a walk, and discussed the upcoming wedding as they passed a drugstore. Harry and Liz went inside. Harry conversed with one of the store clerks. Are you the manager? The clerk answered yes.
Harry said: We're getting married. Do you sell heart medication?
Clerk: Yes we do.
Harry: How about medicine for circulation?
Clerk: Yes, of course, all kinds.
Harry: Arthritis, rheumatism, etc? Clerk: Why, sure.
Harry: What about Viagra? Clerk: Definitely. We have medication for alzheimers, arthritis, memory loss etc. We have all sorts and types. Harry: Do you have vitamins, sleeping pills, geritol, and treatment for parkinson's disease? Clerk: For sure. Harry: How about wheelchairs, walkers, and adult diapers? Clerk: Yes, we have those, and diapers in all sizes and thicknesses. Harry turned and conversed with Liz, and then said to the clerk: We will register here for our wedding gifts, for sure.
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed.
Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."